The Importance of Boundary Setting

Our group discussion last week, was about personal boundaries. The discussion is relevant for many people I treat in my homeopathy practice, particularly women. During treatment we often uncover that at the heart of many peoples’ symptoms, under many layers of illness or unrest, an energetic imbalance has occurred around boundaries. This is due to the patient either not having boundaries to begin with, or allowing their boundaries to be breached. In fact, the issue of boundaries has become such a common thread in my practice, that I feel the issue is a big one for the whole of our society. Uncovering why we need boundaries, who should set them, what they look like, and just how to do it, is what we talked about last week. In this two-part article, I share with you now some of the concepts we uncovered during our discussion, which might be relevant for your life.

Why do we need boundaries?

We can’t really begin to address personal boundaries, how to set them and how to maintain them, without a discussion about energy. The concept of energy and its exchanges between people is a great way to begin to see how boundaries work in our daily lives. Our modern lives have largely become a power struggle. One in which our relationships with each other, the giving and receiving of personal energy have in themselves become  a source of power for many people. Those who are unable to set clear boundaries around their own wants, hopes and needs are more vulnerable to the energy of others. Our soul needs energy to grow and survive. We can struggle to survive because we don’t have enough power. Or we can have too much power at the expense of others. When we are out of balance energetically, we can become ill – physically or mentally.

So who should set your boundaries?

You. If you don’t, then they will be set for you by default. In the mishmash of energetic pods and grapples for power, you will be a tiny little space, by default. Power will leach in or out. If there is nothing to demarcate energy limits, it becomes a free for all in both directions. If we look at it this way, setting boundaries is a very unselfish thing to do for others. But boundary setting has not been an easy concept for modern humans. We start in the boundary of the womb, then we are born into the family womb, then we should emerge into our own being, and be given a space in which to define ourselves and decide who we are. But in our modern world, there is rarely a rite of passage for people to make this entrance. Often, we go straight into other institutions, or work structures, which have clear rules and regulations. We confuse these rules with boundaries, and we can give our power to them. But they are not boundaries, they are merely agreed terms. So, the confusion begins – one which many people maintain their entire lives, never really living with their own purpose.

What exactly are you setting?

Boundary is a word we use to explain when something is enough, too much, the limit or the edge. In the energetic sense, it is the place where you end, and I begin. In new age terms, the phrase “your own truth” has been coined. We can also think of a boundary in artistic terms. It is an outline, of who we are. So who are we? We are the soul, residing in the body, using the mind to navigate. To tap in to who we really are, we must understand what our soul wants. We must outline the soul and all its intricacies. Our boundaries are outlines of what is important to our soul. What we “came here to do.” In the modern (western) world, the decline in the prevalence of practicing spirituality has left many humans less in touch than ever before with the ‘source’ of existence. Being God, Buddha, Krishna, or any other entity we have in the past prayed to and revered. In all of those relationships with God-like entities, humans connected with a place where energy is loving, fulfilling and abundant. The soul communicates easily with the Source, the primary relationship which, is one of love. There is infinite energy for us in this relationship.

Our boundaries can then be seen as a definition of our soul’s purpose, reflecting the energy of infinite love from the Source.

Wow! Such a big, but simple concept. In our busy modern lives, how do we apply this knowledge? In the next instalment of our discussion on boundaries, we look at the practical ways we can begin to really define ourselves and our boundaries, and outline who we are and our life’s purpose. Stay tuned! Elzette Harper is a fully qualified homeopath, practicing Aperture Homeopathy™ at Return to Health. Find out more about homeopathy, a beautiful energetic medicine and system of healing, and how it can enhance your daily life.  

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